How to Manage Stress and its Dangerous Effects? – Part I
“Stress is an inability to adapt to a changing environment”
As we saw in my previous blog “Dangerous Effects of Stress on our Mind, Body and Overall Life”, stress affects every area of our life. Now, let’s see what can be done do to moderate and reduce the immediate and long term effects of this unavoidable life
impacting feeling of stress? Let us look at the first and foremost step, “Living an Authentic Life Aligned to our Highest Values” to reduce stress in this blog.
Stress is an inability to adapt to a changing environment. So one way of handling stress and reducing its negative impact is by making ourself more adaptable to changing environments. How can we do that? We will see it in this blog.
Now let us look at the first and foremost step to manage stress and its ill effects, “Living an Authentic Life Aligned to our Highest Values” We discussed in the previous blog that the agitations in your mind due to ‘Conflict Values’ between yours and others and the “Negative Emotional Charges” like a “Regret” or a “Shame or
Guilt” about your past, a “Hatred” or “Hurt” or “Resentment” on somebody in the past or present and an “Anxiety” about future, the “Fear of uncertainty” in the future causes “Stress” (Distress). These emotional imbalances are created when you do not live your authentic life, aligned to your highest human values / priorities, based on your intrinsic inspiration from within and instead live on injected values from others outside in the external environment.
Let’s look at this ‘Human Values’, the underlying drivers of human behaviour to get a clear idea on how to handle stress
An individual that is clear about what they are dedicated to, crystal clear about what they want to dedicate their energies in life to, which we could call the “Chief Aim” or “Mission” or “Purpose” or “Primary Objective” or “Spiritual Calling”, tend to achieve more and reduce their stress levels.
So the first step to manage stress and its ill effects is taking the time and effort in finding out, clarifying and getting crystal clear about what you are really committed to in life, your primary objective, your highest priority / highest value, which is an expression of your life purpose.
Every individual regardless of their creed or their religion or their gender or their nationality or their language, lives by a set of priorities in life, a set of human values that are unique to them. This hierarchy of priorities or “Hierarchy of Values” of an individual from highest to lowest, is finger print specific and retino pattern specific. No two individuals have the same hierarchy of values and therefore though in actuality there is a single World, there are 8.0 billion realities as each individual filters the World with their unique set of values and creates their subjective reality.
Each individual perceives the world, makes decisions in the world and takes action in the world based on their hierarchy of values. As each individual makes decisions based on their hierarchy of values, knowing their hierarchy of values is knowing their self at the core and their Highest Priority or the Highest Value on the topmost of their hierarchy of values, is the expression of their Life Purpose, which is the most meaningful thing in their life that they are
committed to.
The Highest Value of an individual is called by Aristotle as the “Telos” and that’s the Chief Aim, that’s the Primary Objective, the end in mind for that individual. Anyone who is able to find that and clarify what that is and get concise on what that is, that they are committed to is going to have less distress in life than somebody who is wandering aimlessly, emotionally and perturbed by all the impulses (attractions) and instincts (repulsions), the pleasures and pains that are around them in their life.
If we don’t empower our life by living authentically, aligned to our highest values, the most important thing for us in life, people around us will impose their values on our life which distracts us from what is truly meaningful to us, thereby causing distress and disempowering us in different areas of our life including physical and mental health and wellness. Those overpowering distractions are the prime reason for our stress (distress). So, a major part of our stress is because we are getting side tracked from our chief aim in life, our purpose, by people who try to sell us something (based on their values) or people expecting something or emotionally blackmailing you, trying to get something out of you and distract your time
Instead if we are clear of who we are, our authentic self, our highest priority, our highest value, the most important thing in our life that we are committed to, it is easy to say “No” to things that are not our “Priority. So, if you live aligned to your highest values, you have “Self Governance” as the forebrain or higher mind, the executive centre of the brain comes online and self-governs all areas of our life.
Instead if we are clear of who we are, our authentic self, our highest priority, our highest value, the most important thing in our life that we are committed to, it is easy to say “No” to things that are not our “Priority. So, if you live aligned to your highest values, you have “Self Governance” as the forebrain or higher mind, the executive centre of the brain comes online and self-governs all areas of our life.
“Any area of your life that you do not self-govern, is an area which others with over-rule you and govern you” (and that might cause stress)
I have worked with 100s of clients through ‘One-on-One’ consults and in small groups to help them determine their “Hierarchy of Values” (HoV) and their Top 3 Highest Values so that they know who they really are at the core, deep inside them, and can give themselves permission to live an authentic life and inspiring life with more balance, meaning, objectivity, certainty, mindfulness, wellness and fulfilment and with least stress. When they are not aware of their hierarchy of values and their highest values, they end up living based on injected values from others thereby living others life and not their authentic life and that causes stress. But once they know who they are, their Highest Values and live by it, their whole life shifts from a compulsive, highly stressful, imbalanced, and frustrated living to a more balanced, inspired and conscious living with meaning and fulfilment, where they go on to unleash their infinite potential and make a difference on Planet Earth serving others. So, if you are interested to move from a compulsive living to conscious living with meaning, balance and fulfilment, please consider joining me for a ‘One-on-One‘ Consult – “Personal Mastery, Human Values, Applications & The Demartini Method (Quantum Process Collapse) Workshop” or for small groups, I conduct from time to time at my Office, Infinite Potentials in Chennai or virtually online on Zoom.
Why is it so important to know your “Hierarchy of Values” (HoV)? You need to know it because in the absence of it you are living somebody else’s life and not your authentic life and that’s the root cause for all the stress and imbalances in your life. Therefore its inevitable to know your hierarchy of values and your Highest Values because that’s where you are spontaneously inspired from within, that’s where you are internally motivated from within, that’s where you have the greatest creativity, discipline, reliability, focus and order, that’s where you are most resilient, most adaptable, most empowered, most mindful and broad in awareness, most equilibrated (balanced) emotionally with least volatility and most spiritually connected to the Divine.
Anytime you are not living by your authentic self or highest values you are automatically going to go into distress because blood, oxygen and glucose flows to the hind brain or Amygdala or the lower mind which is driven emotionally by impulses and instincts causing subjective biases and self-governance goes for a toss causing the chemical secretions in the body to get erratic, causing mood swings due to an imbalance between the Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) and the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS), thereby perturbing the homeostasis in the bodycausing “illness”.
Instead, when you live your authentic life in your Highest Values you are spontaneously inspired from within because blood, oxygen and glucose flows to the forebrain, the Executive Centre (higher mind) comes online causing Self Governance, so the entire chemical secretions in the body are moderated, you are more objective with least volatility in your moods and there is an internal balance between the SNS and PNS causing “Homeostasis” in the body and “wellness”. The broader your awareness you see things neither good or evil, you see both sides of the equation and move from split consciousness to full consciousness.
So the first step to manage stress is define clearly what you are committed to in life, what’s deeply most meaningful, your primary objective or life purpose or the spiritual calling or your mission in life. Living aligned to your highest values drastically reduces distress as you have self-governance in the mind and homeostasis in the body. Living aligned to your authentic self, your highest values also slows down the aging process as you start healing your body with the transcendental feelings of inspiration and enthusiasm, certainty and presence. So get crystal clear on what you are committed to in life, your highest values and live aligned to it and that’s the first step to overcoming stress and its ill effects.
For some of you that could be raising a beautiful family, for some others it could be creating an amazing business, for some it could be a teaching or a social cause to make a difference to others, for some it could be healthcare and fitness or music or sports or some kind of service. There are no rules about what it is, there is no right and wrong rules when it comes to your values, so don’t compare yourself with anybody, don’t subordinate to anybody else, instead give yourself permission to be your authentic self. Dig deep inside to pull out that internal inspiration, to what you want to dedicate your life to, crystallize it and then dedicate your life to fulfilling that service, that chief aim or mission or purpose. That is the most certain way to manage stress and its ill effects and instead have inspiration & fulfilment
“Fill your day with authentic highest priority actions that inspire you from within and it will automatically fill your day with inspiration and help overcome stress”
With Gratitude,
Senthil Raj. A
About the Author:
Senthil Raj. A, is the Author of the book “Compulsive Living to Conscious Living”, a #1 best seller in three categories, 1) Mind Body Soul, 2) Spiritual Growth Self-help and 3) Business Mentoring and Coaching. He is the first licensed Demartini Method® Facilitator and first Demartini Values® Facilitator of India.
He is a Personal Empowerment Consultant, who consults with Entrepreneurs, Professionals, Corporate Leaders, Government Officials, and Individuals and facilitates them to move from a ‘highly stressed, pressured, disempowered, imbalanced, uninspired and frustrated life’ to a ‘more balanced, inspired (self-motivated) and meaningful life with holistic wellness and fulfilment’
He does it by consulting people one-on-one:
- To find their authentic highest values (Know Thyself) which is an expression of their life purpose, align their life around it (Be Thyself).
- Dissolve their negative emotional charges using the Demartini Method® and liberate them from its heavy burden (Love Thyself).
- Empower All Areas – Spiritual, Mental, Emotional, Vocational, Financial, Familial, Social and Physical (Empower Thyself).
Check out the website https://infinitepotentials.in to know more about stress management and personal empowerment to live a balanced, inspiring, meaningful and fulfilling life with wellness.
Dr John Demartini, his Teacher & Mentor, is the World’s Leading “Human Behaviour Specialist” and founder of the Demartini Method® (aka the Quantum Collapse Process) & the Demartini Values Determination Process®.
